Feedback Thoughts
Living in a society where perfection is the goal for many, I can definitely understand why feedback can be seen so negatively. When I was younger, every time I received feedback, I considered it as I failed, and now I needed help. I honestly think it has to do with America's great emphasis on individualism, which leads to "feedback" having a negative connotation.
After reading the articles about rejection and how it is perceived in the same areas as physical pain in the brain, I realized the feeling of self-doubt is universal when a person is rejected. Once we experience those bad situations where our self-concept is threatened, we immediately withdraw away from society, pondering about where we went wrong. We then go down the road of no return by self-criticizing, lowering our self-esteem and confidence further. As the "A Simple 5-Second Habit to Rewire Your Harshly Self-Critical Brain" article described, in order to escape this mindset, one needs to apply REBS, or reality-based self-congratulation. This therapy is basically just complimenting yourself and restoring your self-confidence. Instead of thinking you can never do it, you tell yourself how good it is that you are working hard. I find myself, using this when I am the most stressed, especially during exercise, always pushing myself by saying "Just a little more! You can do it".
Another way to boost your self-confidence or esteem is to "boost feelings of social connection" as explained by the "Why rejection hurts so much — and what to do about it" article. We are humans. We all want to feel wanted in this world, so finding that kind of feeling boosts our feelings after being rejected.
Applying all of these lessons to school, we see that feedback can definitely be useful in improving our skills and also seeing different perspectives. I know I love feedback that shows me new ways of approaching things and improvement on my work. Feedback that just criticizes my work without any explanation frustrates me and becomes a negative experience. Mistakes are perfectly fine as long as you learn from them.
Someone wise once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".
Someone wise once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".
Anhthu,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that feedback, especially critical feedback can be hard to hear sometimes and, furthermore, it can really make you feel bad about yourself and doubt whether or not you are actually good enough. I know that is true for me. I am slowly getting better at hearing feedback and using it objectively but it can be difficult sometimes.
I also use your method of reminding myself that I am trying and learning. Mistakes are part of the process.