It was so much fun to read through your storybook project so far. You have a wonderful title and the banner image you chose is absolutely perfect for the project. In fact, your image choices throughout your website page are wonderful. I especially enjoyed the blocks spelling out love and the flowers on your introduction page. I am so excited that you are doing Vietnamese tales for your project. I have not seen others like this, and I am excited to see how it unfolds. Your first paragraph on your introduction was so intriguing. It left me with so many questions in how the project was going to unfold. I can’t wait to keep reading more. Your opening story does a great job of providing background for your reader. Also, it is super cool that you have navigation buttons on the bottom. I will add this to my own project. Great work.
Hi Anhthu! First of all, I love the visual presentation of your website. The layout is really readable, the navigation buttons at the bottom are helpful, and the color scheme is really fitting. I also like that you told us a lot about the characters without giving away too much about what is going to happen in their story. I do have a couple of questions - who is the narrator? I noticed that the narration has a pretty informal tone, almost as if the narrator was telling the story out loud to a friend. Also, is the introduction based on an existing story, or is it something you came up with in order to tie together other stories? I would love to have a little more information about the context... But maybe it will be revealed in your other stories. I am excited to see what you come up with.
It was exciting to see a story based in Vietnam because I'm Vietnamese. It's always nice to see representation! I really like the story that you set up with your introduction. It's going to be a very creative story, especially since you're going to be incorporating many stories. One of the main things that stood out to me was that you essentially put your voice into the story. I could hear it as if you were telling it to me, which could be a good thing or bad thing depending on what you were going for! It reminds me of the narration of an informal skit or something similar. Another thing I saw was your use of all capital letters in words and phrases. I don't know what it is, but it just doesn't look right to me. Perhaps it's the font that you chose for you page, but I'm not quite sure. I just know I don't like it, haha. I'm excited to read the rest of your stories for the semester and follow this couple's journey.
I understand why you decided to use the background picture of the sky in your first story, but what if you tried finding an alternative picture? In all honesty, your current background makes it a bit difficult to read the white text since it blends in. You could also try changing the font color if you do not want to change the picture. Another side note: I would like to suggest that you do a quick read through your story again. I found some simple grammatical errors like “there was many of them” that are easy to miss. Once again, great story!!
I like the way that you retold that legend in your first story. It was a very creative take, and the modern language/dialogue made it very easy to read. I thought the way that the two lovers met was very unique. Maybe you could have put more emphasis on the bear story by including more details. In relation to the rest of the story, it felt like you mentioned it offhandedly, but I feel like that part of the story is very important in how the two fall in love. In relation to your storybook, you could end this story by setting up for the next reincarnation of the two lovers or the next chapter. I like that you tied in the explanations for things in the universe, but maybe you could rephrase it. Saying, "This is the reason.." really separates this part of the story from the rest of the parts due to the change in tone and language. I'm not sure if I explained that well. I look forward to reading more of your stories! I'll be back every week there's a new chapter!
Right off the bat, I love your visuals throughout the whole site. All of the images (especially that gorgeous paper heart photo on your intro page) set a tone that's cozy enough to make me believe characters could be falling in love, but the darkness of the theme leaves me to wonder how things are going to end in the foreshadowed heartbreak(s).
I also like how you aren't afraid to incorporate large amounts of dialogue in your stories. Too much exposition and description can really start to drag after a while -- you manage to keep the pace quick, while simultaneously developing the characters' personalities through what they say.
Your writing and selection of pictures are both great, so my only suggestion is to maybe make the font in "The Milky Way" either slightly bigger or a slightly different color. Against the white of the stars, it blended in just a hair -- but nothing terrible.
I'm looking forward to reading about the next heartbreak!
Hi Anhthu! First off, I love your blog theme and layout! It’s so pretty! I think you are off to a great start with your Storybook.I have read many love stories in this class, but I really like yours in particular. Your backstory was very refreshing. Love has challenges and obstacles and I think it’s so important that you incorporated that! In the first story I love your modern day take and twist. The dialogue was great and very intriguing. Your use of dialogue was great! I was able to follow along and really immerse myself into the story! I think you will continue to write great things in the class! Keep up the good work and I hope you have a great rest of the semester! Good Luck! -Madee
The first thing I noticed when I visited your storybook project site was the beautiful cover image on your home page! I think it perfectly fits the theme of love stories and is a great introduction for readers. I'm kind of a nerd about fonts, and I love the font choice for your website as well. It's romantic and sweet, and yet still has that classic serif style of novels.
One thing I noticed about your home page was that the button on the bottom cuts off the text. I love that you've incorporated a button to lead people to the next page on your site, but I think shortening the text on the button would work a little better since right now it reads as "Introduction to th...."
Looking through your story pages, I love how you've varied the layout of each story. I think that really helps to maintain the reader's interest, and it also just looks really cool!
I love your theme, and I'm excited to see how you add to your website. Good luck!
I really like the way your website looks, with the Milky Way and the water that is the background for your first story. I also really enjoyed the theme you chose and found your first story incredible! I really empathisized with the characters and found them extremely likeable. It is also kind of funny to me that the mother of the girl is accidentally causing her all of this heartache, without even knowing it--sometimes overly protective parents can have this effect!
A couple minor things: In your introduction, at the end you talk about Hue becoming immortal, but I think you mean mortal. Also, in your first story, it also says "my buffalo herd had disappeared" but I think it should be "my buffalo herd has disappeared". Other than these realyl minor things, your introduction and story were perfect, as well as your theme and design!
Great work and I look forward to reading the other stories you write for your storybook and seeing what happens to these unfortunate lovers!
Let me start off by saying that your website looks absolutely beautiful. The images that you picked are just great! I also like the layout of the website. I like the fact that you have a navigation bat to quickly navigate through all of the stories on the website. But I also like the fact that you have buttons at the end of the stores linking to the next or previous story. This is something that I might incorporate into my own website.
A recommendation that I have is to bring that comment wall link footer in line with the theme of the rest of the page. Also, instead of hyperlinked text, I think the comment wall link will look better as a button. In your Milky Way story, the background made the text hard to read sometimes. I feel like there too much going on. My recommendation is to make the galaxy picture the banner image at the top along with the title, then have the text on a plain background.
Hey Anhthu, I like your storybook so far! You did a good job with the setup of the two star-crossed lovers, and the “evil” mother who pushes them apart (although I guess you could argue that the mom is just overprotective). I like how, in your latest story, you scattered pictures throughout the story; I think it helps with the pacing of the story, and you did a great job making sure each picture was next to the part of the story it related to (I’ve been having some trouble with getting the site to cooperate). I think the only criticism I have is that there are some run-on sentences that interrupt the flow of your story. However, I’m very prone to run-on sentences as well, so don’t worry about it too much. :) I can’t wait to see where your star-crossed lovers end up next; hopefully they’ll get a happily ever after!
Hi Anhthu! I really love the theme of your storybook and how each of the stories is a continuation from the previous ones. It makes me so interested to see what happens next. It is also super obvious that you have extensive background knowledge of the original story, so it is really cool to see such a different theme and how it compares to stories from other cultures. As far as the design of your website goes, it is amazing. You provide so much detail and several images to give the reader more of a visual understanding of what you are trying to convey to the readers, which is super helpful for me because I am a huge visual learner. The one thing I think you could do to improve the home page is to maybe make a clear separation before the part where Hue complains to her dad, like some dots, a line, or extra spaces to indicate that there is a change in the scene in a way. Other than that, you are doing amazing, and I'm excited to see where your story goes next!
First off I just wanted to say I’m a big fan of the way you have setup your storybook project so far. From the header images, to the layout of the site, it all looks really clean and professional. This was my first time to visit your site in the course, and I think you did a great job of really creating a site with a unique feel. Ok now to the story! Since this is my first visit, I went through the introduction and the first story. I think the length of the intro was perfect! You set up the stories well, and did a solid job casting a vision for what all is to come. I think it was wise to keep the main feel and layout of the original story! The only suggestion I would make is possibly changing the background of the first story page. The white text on the stars can be a bit trick to read. Best,
Well, I read your second story and enjoyed it immensely! Just like before, I thought your photos were amazing and beautiful--they really make me want to travel to Vietnam. Such a gorgeous country, especially compared to the underwhelming Oklahoma! A few minor things: when it says the wife was "lamenting at" her husband, I think it would be best to say she was lamenting her fate and imploring him to return. "Lamenting at" sounds a bit awkward. Also, why did the woman have eggs? I know she is a supernatural being but why eggs? Maybe you could come up with a fun/humorous explanation for this--I am assuming the original story did not explain it! These are very small things, though, and are just my opinion! Great work on the dialogue which brings readers in and makes them hungry for more! I can't wait to read your next story!
First, I would like to say how much I really liked the three-prong title. I was initially interested by it as I feel it leaves a lot to the imagination. I also really like your banner image as I feel it is very smooth and helps the whole project flow together very well. Additionally, I really like how many images you used in The Origin of Vietnam. I also really liked the background image of the galaxy in The Milky Way. I always love to see images like that, especially whenever they work well with the font color and are easy to read. It most certainly helps with the story and makes it that much more enjoyable. I looked for any errors but I could not find any that people had not already mentioned, so great job on that. Lastly, I think that you have a good and diverse set of stories that really make your project that much more enjoyable. Hope you have a great rest of the semester!
Hi Anhthu,
ReplyDeleteIt was so much fun to read through your storybook project so far. You have a wonderful title and the banner image you chose is absolutely perfect for the project. In fact, your image choices throughout your website page are wonderful. I especially enjoyed the blocks spelling out love and the flowers on your introduction page. I am so excited that you are doing Vietnamese tales for your project. I have not seen others like this, and I am excited to see how it unfolds. Your first paragraph on your introduction was so intriguing. It left me with so many questions in how the project was going to unfold. I can’t wait to keep reading more. Your opening story does a great job of providing background for your reader. Also, it is super cool that you have navigation buttons on the bottom. I will add this to my own project. Great work.
-Andy
Hi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the visual presentation of your website. The layout is really readable, the navigation buttons at the bottom are helpful, and the color scheme is really fitting. I also like that you told us a lot about the characters without giving away too much about what is going to happen in their story.
I do have a couple of questions - who is the narrator? I noticed that the narration has a pretty informal tone, almost as if the narrator was telling the story out loud to a friend. Also, is the introduction based on an existing story, or is it something you came up with in order to tie together other stories?
I would love to have a little more information about the context... But maybe it will be revealed in your other stories. I am excited to see what you come up with.
Hi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteIt was exciting to see a story based in Vietnam because I'm Vietnamese. It's always nice to see representation! I really like the story that you set up with your introduction. It's going to be a very creative story, especially since you're going to be incorporating many stories. One of the main things that stood out to me was that you essentially put your voice into the story. I could hear it as if you were telling it to me, which could be a good thing or bad thing depending on what you were going for! It reminds me of the narration of an informal skit or something similar. Another thing I saw was your use of all capital letters in words and phrases. I don't know what it is, but it just doesn't look right to me. Perhaps it's the font that you chose for you page, but I'm not quite sure. I just know I don't like it, haha. I'm excited to read the rest of your stories for the semester and follow this couple's journey.
Hello, Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteI really think that you are off to a great start with your Storybook so far! I like the concept of having a love that transcends time. I also like how you were a bit realistic in your first story in regard to how our two lovers first met after being reincarnated. I hate to say this, but I am kind of tired of reading about the “and they fell in love at first sight” cliché. You take on this story was honestly quite refreshing!
I understand why you decided to use the background picture of the sky in your first story, but what if you tried finding an alternative picture? In all honesty, your current background makes it a bit difficult to read the white text since it blends in. You could also try changing the font color if you do not want to change the picture. Another side note: I would like to suggest that you do a quick read through your story again. I found some simple grammatical errors like “there was many of them” that are easy to miss. Once again, great story!!
Hi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteI like the way that you retold that legend in your first story. It was a very creative take, and the modern language/dialogue made it very easy to read. I thought the way that the two lovers met was very unique. Maybe you could have put more emphasis on the bear story by including more details. In relation to the rest of the story, it felt like you mentioned it offhandedly, but I feel like that part of the story is very important in how the two fall in love. In relation to your storybook, you could end this story by setting up for the next reincarnation of the two lovers or the next chapter. I like that you tied in the explanations for things in the universe, but maybe you could rephrase it. Saying, "This is the reason.." really separates this part of the story from the rest of the parts due to the change in tone and language. I'm not sure if I explained that well.
I look forward to reading more of your stories! I'll be back every week there's a new chapter!
Hey, Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteRight off the bat, I love your visuals throughout the whole site. All of the images (especially that gorgeous paper heart photo on your intro page) set a tone that's cozy enough to make me believe characters could be falling in love, but the darkness of the theme leaves me to wonder how things are going to end in the foreshadowed heartbreak(s).
I also like how you aren't afraid to incorporate large amounts of dialogue in your stories. Too much exposition and description can really start to drag after a while -- you manage to keep the pace quick, while simultaneously developing the characters' personalities through what they say.
Your writing and selection of pictures are both great, so my only suggestion is to maybe make the font in "The Milky Way" either slightly bigger or a slightly different color. Against the white of the stars, it blended in just a hair -- but nothing terrible.
I'm looking forward to reading about the next heartbreak!
Hi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love your blog theme and layout! It’s so pretty! I think you are off to a great start with your Storybook.I have read many love stories in this class, but I really like yours in particular. Your backstory was very refreshing. Love has challenges and obstacles and I think it’s so important that you incorporated that! In the first story I love your modern day take and twist. The dialogue was great and very intriguing. Your use of dialogue was great! I was able to follow along and really immerse myself into the story! I think you will continue to write great things in the class! Keep up the good work and I hope you have a great rest of the semester! Good Luck! -Madee
Hi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I noticed when I visited your storybook project site was the beautiful cover image on your home page! I think it perfectly fits the theme of love stories and is a great introduction for readers. I'm kind of a nerd about fonts, and I love the font choice for your website as well. It's romantic and sweet, and yet still has that classic serif style of novels.
One thing I noticed about your home page was that the button on the bottom cuts off the text. I love that you've incorporated a button to lead people to the next page on your site, but I think shortening the text on the button would work a little better since right now it reads as "Introduction to th...."
Looking through your story pages, I love how you've varied the layout of each story. I think that really helps to maintain the reader's interest, and it also just looks really cool!
I love your theme, and I'm excited to see how you add to your website. Good luck!
Hey, Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way your website looks, with the Milky Way and the water that is the background for your first story. I also really enjoyed the theme you chose and found your first story incredible! I really empathisized with the characters and found them extremely likeable. It is also kind of funny to me that the mother of the girl is accidentally causing her all of this heartache, without even knowing it--sometimes overly protective parents can have this effect!
A couple minor things: In your introduction, at the end you talk about Hue becoming immortal, but I think you mean mortal. Also, in your first story, it also says "my buffalo herd had disappeared" but I think it should be "my buffalo herd has disappeared". Other than these realyl minor things, your introduction and story were perfect, as well as your theme and design!
Great work and I look forward to reading the other stories you write for your storybook and seeing what happens to these unfortunate lovers!
Hi Anhthu,
ReplyDeleteLet me start off by saying that your website looks absolutely beautiful. The images that you picked are just great! I also like the layout of the website. I like the fact that you have a navigation bat to quickly navigate through all of the stories on the website. But I also like the fact that you have buttons at the end of the stores linking to the next or previous story. This is something that I might incorporate into my own website.
A recommendation that I have is to bring that comment wall link footer in line with the theme of the rest of the page. Also, instead of hyperlinked text, I think the comment wall link will look better as a button. In your Milky Way story, the background made the text hard to read sometimes. I feel like there too much going on. My recommendation is to make the galaxy picture the banner image at the top along with the title, then have the text on a plain background.
Hey Anhthu, I like your storybook so far! You did a good job with the setup of the two star-crossed lovers, and the “evil” mother who pushes them apart (although I guess you could argue that the mom is just overprotective). I like how, in your latest story, you scattered pictures throughout the story; I think it helps with the pacing of the story, and you did a great job making sure each picture was next to the part of the story it related to (I’ve been having some trouble with getting the site to cooperate). I think the only criticism I have is that there are some run-on sentences that interrupt the flow of your story. However, I’m very prone to run-on sentences as well, so don’t worry about it too much. :) I can’t wait to see where your star-crossed lovers end up next; hopefully they’ll get a happily ever after!
ReplyDeleteHi Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteI really love the theme of your storybook and how each of the stories is a continuation from the previous ones. It makes me so interested to see what happens next. It is also super obvious that you have extensive background knowledge of the original story, so it is really cool to see such a different theme and how it compares to stories from other cultures. As far as the design of your website goes, it is amazing. You provide so much detail and several images to give the reader more of a visual understanding of what you are trying to convey to the readers, which is super helpful for me because I am a huge visual learner. The one thing I think you could do to improve the home page is to maybe make a clear separation before the part where Hue complains to her dad, like some dots, a line, or extra spaces to indicate that there is a change in the scene in a way. Other than that, you are doing amazing, and I'm excited to see where your story goes next!
Hey Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I just wanted to say I’m a big fan of the way you have setup your storybook project so far. From the header images, to the layout of the site, it all looks really clean and professional. This was my first time to visit your site in the course, and I think you did a great job of really creating a site with a unique feel.
Ok now to the story! Since this is my first visit, I went through the introduction and the first story. I think the length of the intro was perfect! You set up the stories well, and did a solid job casting a vision for what all is to come. I think it was wise to keep the main feel and layout of the original story!
The only suggestion I would make is possibly changing the background of the first story page. The white text on the stars can be a bit trick to read.
Best,
JD
Hello again, Anhthu!
ReplyDeleteWell, I read your second story and enjoyed it immensely! Just like before, I thought your photos were amazing and beautiful--they really make me want to travel to Vietnam. Such a gorgeous country, especially compared to the underwhelming Oklahoma! A few minor things: when it says the wife was "lamenting at" her husband, I think it would be best to say she was lamenting her fate and imploring him to return. "Lamenting at" sounds a bit awkward. Also, why did the woman have eggs? I know she is a supernatural being but why eggs? Maybe you could come up with a fun/humorous explanation for this--I am assuming the original story did not explain it! These are very small things, though, and are just my opinion! Great work on the dialogue which brings readers in and makes them hungry for more! I can't wait to read your next story!
Hello Anhthu,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would like to say how much I really liked the three-prong title. I was initially interested by it as I feel it leaves a lot to the imagination. I also really like your banner image as I feel it is very smooth and helps the whole project flow together very well. Additionally, I really like how many images you used in The Origin of Vietnam. I also really liked the background image of the galaxy in The Milky Way. I always love to see images like that, especially whenever they work well with the font color and are easy to read. It most certainly helps with the story and makes it that much more enjoyable. I looked for any errors but I could not find any that people had not already mentioned, so great job on that. Lastly, I think that you have a good and diverse set of stories that really make your project that much more enjoyable. Hope you have a great rest of the semester!